How Therapy Works

After over ten years of sitting across from people in various stages of their healing journey, I've noticed something: most folks walk into my office with some pretty wild misconceptions about what therapy actually is. Maybe you've seen it portrayed in movies where a single breakthrough moment fixes everything, or maybe you're worried I'm going to analyze your dreams and tell you it's all about your mother. I figured I would write this blog to clarify some of the questions.

It's Not Magic (But It Could Seem Like It)

Therapy isn't about me having all the answers—honestly, that would be exhausting. What happens in our sessions is more like collaborative detective work. You bring your experiences, feelings, and patterns, and I bring my training and a different perspective. Together, we start connecting dots you might not have seen before.

The "magic" happens when you begin recognizing your own patterns. Maybe you notice that you always feel anxious before family dinners, or that you shut down emotionally when someone raises their voice. Those are not character flaws, they are survival strategies your brain developed, often for very good reasons. Once we understand why these patterns exist, we can decide if they're still serving you.

Your Brain is Doing Its Best

Here's something I like to tell all my clients: “Your brain is constantly trying to protect you.” Anxiety? That’s your brain's alarm system. Depression? That’s your brain’s numbing agent, when everything feels overwhelming. That tendency to people-please? It might have kept you safe in a chaotic household.

I am not trying to eliminate these responses, I want to help your brain learn when it’s actually needed and when it’s firing unnecessarily. It's like updating your internal software.

Change Happens in Layers

Lasting change usually doesn't happen overnight. Think of therapy like physical therapy for your emotional and mental patterns. Just as you wouldn't expect to rebuild muscle strength in one session, rewiring thought patterns and emotional responses takes time and practice.

Some weeks you'll leave feeling like you've had major breakthroughs. Other weeks might feel mundane, like we're just chatting. Both are valuable. Those "boring" sessions often involve the subtle work of integration—taking insights and slowly weaving them into your daily life.

You're the Expert on You

This might surprise you, but you already have most of the answers inside you. My job isn't to tell you what to do with your life. Instead, I help you access your own wisdom by asking questions you might not think to ask yourself, offering different perspectives, and creating a space where you can think out loud without judgment.

Sometimes I'll share techniques or frameworks that might be helpful, but ultimately, you decide what fits and what doesn't. You're the one living your life, after all.

The Real Work Happens Outside My Office

Our sessions are important, but they're just one hour of your 168-hour week. The real transformation happens when you start applying what we've discussed in your actual life. Maybe it's setting a boundary with a coworker, sitting with anxiety instead of immediately distracting yourself, or catching yourself in a negative thought spiral and gently redirecting.

This isn't about becoming a perfect person—none of us are. It's about becoming more aware, more intentional, and ultimately, more yourself. The version of you that existed before life taught you to be small, scared, or defensive.

That person is still in there, and therapy is simply about clearing away what's blocking them from fully showing up.